Pictures as promised-warning cuteness overload!!!!

Norah and our very patient dog:)

Norah making cupcakes for the babies arrival home.

Proud big sis

Vivian left, Mary right

Vivian tends to always have a what in the world is happening expression

Mary pink, Vivian green. And have you ever seen anything cuter??

Look at their hands!!!

So nice to be home!

Norah and Vivian

Java meeting the babies

Norah and Mary

Two babies in one sling!

Sister tummy time!

Vivian left Mary center

Mary sleeping on Vivian

June 27

We have been home for almost 2 weeks now! It is hard to believe. Overall it is actually much easier than I thought it would be. I think a lot of it is just the relief of being out of the hospital and in our own space. It makes even the hard things seem not that bad! The twins are very good babies. I shouldn't speak too soon though, because I have heard all hell breaks loose a couple of weeks after their due date, which is tomorrow. So crazy!!  Tomorrow is also their 3 month birthday. They have been through so much in such a short amount of time.

We had a weight check and hemoglobin check at the doctor today, and Mary gained 8 ounces and Vivian gained 6 ounces. So Mary is 5 pounds 15 ounces, and Vivian is 6 pounds 5 ounces. Their hemoglobin levels are also rising and stabilizing out which is great! 

They are having more awake periods during the day. Well, I should say during the night haha. The last couple nights have been kinda rough. Its either they want to nurse a couple hours apart, which is bad because then I don't get much sleep, or they want to nurse at THE EXACT SAME TIME. And if they can't nurse when they want to it is not pretty and they let me know what they think of me;) On a good night I get a couple of 3 hour stretches of sleep. Their behavior is totally normal for newborns, so its not their faults! I feed them at 10 PM, and Kyle usually sleeps on the couch by them until 2 AM, and then I get up and feed them and sleep on the couch until their next feeding at 6 or 7. We have them sleeping in their rock-n-play bassinets in the living room for now. I absolutely love the bassinets, and highly recommend them! 

It is possible for me to nurse them at the same time, but none of us prefer it;) They are just too little at this point and don't have enough head control. I'm hoping it gets easier once they get a little older! They are still on the nipple shields, but I am working on weaning them off of those. I think that will make nursing a little bit smoother too once we don't have to worry about those darn things!!

It is interesting the difference between having your first and second(s). I really didn't trust Kyle with Norah when she was a newborn haha. Not that he wasn't capable, it was just me being super protective. I also didn't want her given a bottle (of breast milk) unless it was absolutely necessary. With these two I am completely different. I have left for a couple of afternoons and on errands and feel totally comfortable leaving them with Kyle. He is more than capable of taking care of them. He is pretty awesome actually. The other night I left for a couple hours and came home and Norah was in bed, the house was clean, and the twins were sleeping after just having had a bottle. Now that is impressive!!! Yesterday Norah and I went to one of my coworkers houses to swim and hang out with friends and left the babes with Kyle. Its nice to be able to hang out with just my big girl and get some bonding time in! The twin take bottles of breast milk totally fine, so that isn't an issue. They are also doing less choking and stopping breathing with feeds so that makes life a lot easier as well.

If the twins weren't 28 weekers I would just take them with us more places, but we have to be super careful that they don't get sick, especially with a respiratory illness. Even a little cold could put them back in the hospital on oxygen. So they are kind of on lockdown til they get bigger! By the time they turn 1 it won't be as big of a deal and we will be out and about more. It kind of sucks, and I think it will be a long winter, but its worth it to preserve their lung function for the rest of their lives.

Norah is doing so great with them. She doesn't seem to be jealous at all, and is very loving and protective of them. One night when one of them was crying, she started crying and saying "mommy, she needs you! Mommy, pick her up!" It was so precious. At the doctors today when the girls got their blood drawn and were crying Norah started crying too and saying "Mommy, help them! They got owie!" I think she is just relieved to have things semi back to normal and that Kyle and I are home with her all the time now. I missed her so much, and its great to be back home with her!

Here are some pictures...we are borrowing Lory's camera and have tons of great shots from the past couple weeks, but don't have a way to get them on our computer at this point. I know I know, how old are we?? Haha. We just don't have the right kind of USB cord. Annnyways...I will upload some really good ones once we get them on our computer!

In their rock-n-plays..Viv on the left, Mary on the right.

Vivian in a milk coma;)

Mary shushing Vivian

Two babies in one ring sling!

Vivian left, Mary right

Sister time!

They needed a "blanket" according to Norah

June 13-My last post from the NICU!!

We're going home tomorrow!!!!  As long as the girls don't have any apneas or bradys overnight. I'm on pins and needles waiting for tomorrow...if they do have an event then they will be here for another 7 days :( Not sure I could handle that at this point.  Well I could if I had to, but it would not be very fun.

I am a little nervous about taking them home, but my comfort level has dramatically increased since this weekend. They are just so much more mature now, and act just like newborns. Its funny because I'm so used to them being quiet little preemies, but now they demand to be picked up or fed or changed or whatever it is they want. Which is a good thing!!

Yesterday they nursed a lot, and wanted me to hold them both in my lap while they slept. It was so adorable. Although things will be pretty crazy once we get home ;) If I was feeding one of them, the other would start fussing and crying til it was her turn, then the first one still wanted to be held, and back and forth all day lol. But nursing is the best thing for them right now so I don't mind at all. I really think all the hours spent here will pay off for me because when I get them home they will already know how to nurse and that will equal more time for me in the long run.

They are still doing great and gaining weight. After we are discharged from here our regular pediatrician will take over care for them. We will probably have an appointment with early next week to check their growth after being home a few days.

They will be sending us home with some formula to to increase calories to add to two bottles of breast milk per day. I have noticed that the girls have a lot more reflux and spit up and congestion (which is caused by reflux) in the morning after they have had the two bottles with formula. When I nurse them all day, they rarely spit up or have reflux. So I will not be adding the formula to the breast milk. I totalled it up, and the formula only gives them an extra 10 calories per day. In the long run that does not improve their weight gain, and to me is not worth the reflux symptoms. I researched the formula (Neosure), and it does cause increased reflux and gassiness in a lot of babies. If they have issues gaining weight (which I highly doubt they will) then I will address those with our pediatrician.

I still cannot believe that we have made it to this day. We will have been here 70 days exactly when we leave tomorrow. Such a long time, and it has seemed to pass both fast and slow. I took Norah out to the hospital garden last night and thought about how much has happened since 12 weeks ago when I was first admitted to the hospital. I have experienced things that I never thought I would have to go through, but isn't that the way life is? I would never give it up now, this experience truly has made me a better and a stronger person. I know that things will in no way be easy when we get home, but just all being together and in our own house will make it all worth it. Plus I have the two cutest little babies in the world! I'm not gonna lie, I had a super hard pregnancy and really wondered sometimes if it was worth it, but turns out it was. I wouldn't give them up for anything.

Again, we can't say enough good things about our experience here at the Blank NICU. The staff has been so wonderful and warm and supportive. If you have to be in the NICU, this is a good one to be in;) We will miss our primary nurses so much and can't thank them enough for their care. And also for keeping me sane;)

I am so proud of the girls. They are so strong and have overcome so many things and are now big and healthy and thriving. Mary weighs 5 pounds 4 ounces, and Vivian weighs 5 pounds 13 ounces. According to the staff the girls' progress has been amazing and is not typical for 28 weekers. They never got an infection, they don't have to go home on oxygen, they are primarily breastfeeding, and they are going home two weeks before their due date. None of these things are normal for 28 weekers, and especially 28 week twins. We have been so blessed, and are grateful to God. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support, we are so thankful for all of you.

I will continue to update this blog with the girls' progress, so please check back if you are interested in their progress at home!

Mary is on the left in the carseats, and Viv on the right.

Pretty ladies! Viv on the left, Mary on the right

Viv right Mary left

Viv left, Mary right

Mary left, Viv right

Big eyes (Mary)

What is happening??!? Vivian

Mary left, Vivian right

Mary left, Vivian right

June 9

So sorry for the lack of posting lately. I am more than a little sleep deprived!!  The girls are doing really well! They are nursing up to 6 times per day! So that means I am at the hospital pretty much all the time. The past couple nights I have been going home to sleep after their 8 pm feed and then I come back at 5 AM to nurse them again. The nurses either give them a bottle or feed them through their tube.

They had been plugging along really well, but yesterday had kind of an off afternoon. They didn't want to wake up to nurse, and so we fed them through their tube. It was pretty disappointing because they had been doing SO good. Its totally normal, but really frustrating. The highs and lows of the NICU are pretty crazy. If there is anything that preemies teach you, its patience.

In other GREAT news the girls are off all oxygen! This happened on Thursday the 6th. This is so amazing because they mentioned Monday that they may need to go home on oxygen. Which of course really bummed me out. At this point they were still on the vapotherm, which is highly humidified oxygen. They were on a very low amount, but we couldn't get them down past 24% oxygen. One of the problems was that the humidity kept condensing in the tubing and water would go into the girl's noses and down their throats. This would happen about 5 times per hour, and so obviously make it difficult to breathe. Finally one of our nurses asked if we could change to just regular oxygen and the doctors agreed. We had been trying to do this for the past week but the doctors didn't want to because regular oxygen tends to dry the babies nasal passages out too much. However, I figured it was better than the girls drowning all of the time! We tried it on Wednesday, and instantly they were better. Soon they were both down to room air with just a little extra when they nursed. By the end of the day though, they were getting dried out and pretty stuffy. Poor little Vivian could barely nurse because she couldn't breathe through her nose! The doctor came in around 11 pm to make sure it wasn't anything other than a booger problem. The nurses suctioned her and she finished nursing just fine. Again at 530 AM she was really struggling to breathe again, so the doctor came back in and suctioned a big mucous plug out of her nose. Sorry if thats TMI lol. Then he said why don't you just try them off the oxygen since they are just on room air and they are getting so dried out. I was all for that!!! It took them about 12 hours to settle in, but the nurses were great about just repositioning them when their oxygen saturation dropped so that we didn't have to put them back on it. And today they are doing awesome breathing on their own, and even when they occasionally choke and desaturate with nursing they are able to bounce back very quickly without the oxygen. I am SO THANKFUL!!! It would have been ok and not abnormal for them to have needed oxygen at home with how early they were, but its so great that we didn't have to do that.

The doctors are saying discharge by the end of the week. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!  All of a sudden I feel completely unprepared. I wasn't expecting a lot of the emotions that I'm feeling. The time has gone both fast and slow. It will be 10 weeks on Friday that they have been here, which I can hardly believe. I am so ready for all of us to be home, but am also nervous about it. I know that they girls are almost ready, but I have come to rely on the nurses so much, and I will really really miss them. I feel like I am ready, and I do know the girls and their patterns and what they like and don't like, but its intimidating to be the one to make all the decisions for them. Our primary nurses know them as well as I do, and to not have their support and be able to ask their advice is scary to me.

I have a very fierce protectiveness of them, like nothing that I've experienced before. I was protective of Norah as a newborn, but it was nothing like this. I have experienced so much fear and anxiety since I found out about them 18 weeks ago, and its hard for me to let go of that and relax. There have been so many sleepless nights and so many long days. I find it hard to trust anyone but myself, Kyle and the nurses with them. I really do want to share them with everyone, but it will be hard for me at first so please be patient! They are still very fragile and will need low stimulation and lots of nursing and sleep when they first get home.

I am amazed at how much they are changing and becoming like newborns. They definitely have their preferences! Most of the time they will wake up around 3 hours and scream until they are fed ;) The other night the nurse was feeding them through their tube, and they both woke up and were furious that they weren't nursing. I was planning to sleep through that feeding, but they woke me up with their crying! I held one and the nurse held the other and the girls angrily sucked on their pacifiers and glared at me;) They also have longer awake and alert times and love to be held and talked to. If they are fussy they will usually stop once someone picks them up, unless they are hungry. They are both drama queens and have a certain way of sucking on their pacifiers to express their displeasure. It is HILARIOUS. And they both sound the exact same way.

Nursing is still going great, they can nurse up to 6 out of 8 times per day. We are slowly working up to that, because we don't want to tire them out. Today after the break they had they are nursing very well. They did say that if they wake up before 3 hours I can nurse them at 2 hours if I want. That has been really nice to add that flexibility in because sometimes they do want to eat at 2.5 hours instead of 3. They have also taken a couple of bottles with no issues, which is good to know that they can! The past couple days they have been a little on the low side with weight gain, so the doctors want them to have 2 feeds of fortified breastmilk to give them some more calories. They increased their fortification from 24 kcal/oz to 26 kcal/oz. As I have said before, I'm not a huge fan of the fortifier but if they need it, they need it. If they need lots of weight gain to get out of here then so be it. They both had big weight gains last night so thats good. Vivian weighs 5 pounds 8 ounces and Mary finally hit the 5 pound mark. I can't believe I almost have a 6 pound baby!

So discharge depends on a couple of things...how they are eating and when their last apnea/brady was. They have to be taking all 8 feeds orally, and not have had an apnea/brady episode in 7 days. Mary's last was on Thursday, and Vivian's last was on Friday. So discharge is tentatively set for the end of the week depending on how they do with feeding. I'm really hoping that they can be discharged together, and I'll push for that. Having one here and one at home would be pretty difficult with the whole feeding thing!

Again, thanks so much for your support. These past few months have definitely been the hardest of our lives, but God has seen us through, and we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh, and mother-in-law of the year award goes to Lory Chaplin for potty training Norah ;) The past couple days she has been going in the toilet 4-5 times per day! She isn't completely there yet, but its one less thing for me to worry about when we get home. I really cannot thank my in laws enough for everything. We would not have made it through without them. Lory has been living at our house the past couple weeks taking care of Norah and cleaning and cooking and doing my laundry, and Larry comes down on the weekends. We owe them BIG TIME!

Vivian is in blue and Mary is in pink/red, and viv is the one wrapped in a towel and the one crying;)

May 27

The girls are getting so big! I really cannot believe it. Vivian is now 4 pounds 13 ounces, and Mary is 4 pounds 6 ounces. She is trying really hard to catch up to Vivian but just can't quite get there ;) They are going to town on the nursing, and we are starting 3 times per day today. The nurse practitioner said today that if they do well with that we could go up to 4-5 times per day in a couple days.

I am pretty much planning on camping out here until we go home, which I am anticipating in a few weeks. Maybe sooner if they really take off with nursing! I will definitely be missing Norah, but I feel like these next few weeks will be critical in establishing breastfeeding. In the long run it will give me much more time with Norah because I won't have to be pumping and giving bottles once we get them home. She is staying with Grandma and Grandpa this week, and I know will not be spoiled at all;)

They are still on oxygen, but only a very small amount. Today Mary is at 24% and Vivian is at 23%. They still go up and down a little bit, and this weekend seemed to require a little bit more than usual. They are down more today though, and a lot of it depends on how hard they work at nursing and how full they are. If their tummies are really full then they have a harder time breathing. I feel like they need some more time to grow just a LITTLE bit more lung tissue and then they will be done with the oxygen.

This morning Mary nursed so much that she had an 8 ml residual in her tummy when they checked before her 11 o'clock feeding. She has NEVER had that much left over! I knew she had eaten a lot hahaha.  Just more proof that they are getting all they need from nursing without us weighing them! So far the doctors have been ok with them not being weighed before and after because they are gaining weight and growing so well.

Okay, breastfeeding sidebar here, so if you aren't interested then just skip this paragraph;) The whole experience breastfeeding here has overall been very positive. I was warned that it was difficult to successfully breastfeed in the NICU, and it is challenging, but the staff has been so supportive of it. One thing that I truly believe is that babies are smarter than we give them credit for. A lot of times we get so focused on numbers, and then freak out when we don't know exactly how much they babies are eating when they breastfeed. But I have found that if I trust myself and my babies, everything goes much smoother. Mary and Vivian know how much they need, and they know how to get it. Some days they nurse for longer periods than others, and that's ok. They show that they are done by not latching back on, looking very sleepy, and having round tummies. They have plenty of wet and dirty diapers, and are appropriately gaining weight. This is how you know at home that your breastfed baby is getting enough. I am so thankful that they staff here is willing to go with these cues and signs and that they also trust me to tell them if I don't think they have gotten enough at a feeding. So much of breastfeeding comes down to being able to recognize your baby's small signs and cues in order to know if they are full or not. If they don't breastfeed, they get a set amount of breastmilk down their feeding tube which is calculated to their weight and age and how much they should need to eat. And this is what needs to happen in the NICU for them to get enough protein and nutrients and calories to grow. But if you think in terms of yourself, you don't eat the same exact amount every time you eat. Sometimes you eat more, sometimes less, depending on a variety of factors. You also don't eat at the exact same time every single day. That is why following your breastfed baby's hunger cues is so important.

Anyways, all that to say that the girls are ROCKSTARS at nursing. I am so proud of them! They may have to go home taking a couple bottles a day that have human milk fortifier in them to get some extra calories. Well, that's probably what the doctors will advise....we will see if that actually happens ;) If I get them home and they are gaining weight perfectly fine I plan on discontinuing the fortifier because it makes them super gassy and I don't think they will need it by the time they are full term. I am not a huge fan of that stuff anyways.

The doctors are also wanting to get them out of their isolettes, which are beds that have heaters in them and are closed off from the outside environment. While they are in isolettes they can be positioned on their tummies and on their sides, and the bed can be raised to prevent reflux, but once they go to an open crib they have to be flat on their backs at all times. I am in no hurry to get them out of their isolettes, and plan on asking to wait for that til the end of the week when they will be 36 weeks. We discussed it in our care conference and our primary nurses really feel that since they are doing so well in the isolettes we should keep up with that as long as we can. The doctors usually do have different ideas than the nurses ;)

So overall we are doing great, and I am starting to try and wrap my head around the idea that I will have 3 girls at home instead of 1 soon!!!

Viv is in green and Mary is in pink!