May 4

The girls continue to have a great week. I think they finally decided they want to live ;) They are both now just on regular CPAP again. The doctor discontinued the cycled CPAP that gives them a set amount of breaths this morning and they are doing great with it. They are both on a little bit more oxygen which is normal with these changes, and also since they are now 32 weeks, their target oxygenation levels are higher. The goal is for their blood oxygen level to be 90-94% instead of 86-92%. So they will probably be needing a little extra oxygen for a little while in order to reach those levels. The doctors are very pleased with their progress, and told us today in rounds that they will probably be off CPAP altogether soon. They will then be on oxygen via nasal cannula, which is called vapotherm here, and is high flow and humidified. Then the next step after that is just room air! The doctor today said that we will be hearing less and less about the girls in rounds, which is a very good thing and means they are just feeders and growers. Also today both of their repeat newborn screens came back normal which is also great news!

Mary now weighs 3 pounds even, and Vivian is 3 pounds 5 ounces! I held them together again today and they did really well. Although it was pretty difficult when they both wanted their pacifiers at the same time and I only have two hands! I can only imagine how it will be nursing them at the same time haha. They have both started to wiggle a lot when I hold them and try and slide down my chest, so I know they are smelling the breastmilk. It is crazy how strong their instincts are to nurse even at their young age. They love their pacifiers, and the nurses seem to think it will be a smooth transition to breast when we can try in a couple weeks. I'm hoping that they take to it really well so we can get them home. That will be the final step to getting them home, making sure they can eat and gain weight.

I am trying to figure out how to not go insane during all this. Some days I really can't believe that all this is happening, and our normal life now includes two babies in the NICU with no discharge date in sight. Its a very difficult place to be, and so easy to drive yourself crazy just sitting here staring at monitors all day. I struggle to find the balance in spending time here but not feeling guilty when I leave because I really do need a break. Its just not feasible to put your entire life on hold for 8-12 weeks, although that's exactly how I feel...like my entire life is on hold until the girls come home. Kyle is still working, and will continue to until they come home and then hopefully can take a couple of weeks off so we can figure everything out at home. Everyone says that soon this will all be a distant memory, but the days are very long :(

All in all they are doing wonderful though, so we really can't complain too much ;)

I don't have any recent pics of the twins, but I will include a few of Norah from a couple days ago.